Ménage à trois
by SpellboundWinter
Summary: They were my ménage à trois. The three happy twitchers. Every day was a new adventure. Every day was a new day. And every day was the best day of my life. TweekxThomas, TweekxRebecca, and TweekxCraig. One-shot


**TweekxThomas, TweekxRebecca and TweekxCraig.**

**There isn't enough Tweek to go around ;D**

* * *

><p>Every day was a new adventure.<p>

I could hear the screams of obscenities as Rebecca rolled Thomas in a cart down the aisle, spilling out halfway near the frozen food section. From the corner of my eye I saw Thomas go sliding in one direction and the metal rattle trap in another.

And every day was a new day.

The poodle haired girl hurried to Thomas' side, grasping his hands and jerking him to his feet. Rebecca giggled in that nervous way. Like a dolphin. It was awkward and very familiar to me. "Le-le-let's do it again!" she stammered.

"_Shit_! Are you serious?!" My twin shrieked.

And every day was the best day of my life.

More laughter and I could see a certain brunette being swept off her feet a few inches as they shared a small chaste kiss and the small, 'I love you' that came with it.

"You two," I rolled my eyes with a small titter on the account of their sudden mood changes and strange behavior. "Ngh, so much pressure."

I was making sure the shelves were perfectly stacked. It was graveyard shift. Why wasn't I working at the coffee shop? Our shop lost popularity to a big shot company and we lost the business. And after the little outburst my father had, the Tweaks were banned from the other shop. I had the pleasure of being a store clerk.

Rebecca worked part-time at the library and Thomas did a lot of community service but the two always made time to see me at closing time.

The two approached me and Rebecca covered her hands with a tiny twitch. "K-i-s-s?"

"Y-e-s." I answered simply, moving her hands and leaning down, pecking the poodle haired girl on the lips. For some reason, the poor girl was obsessed with kissing. Somehow, I think Kyle is to blame.

Thomas puckered out his lips. "_Fuck me_, I want a little kiss too."

I leaned in close, kissing him feeling his tongue against my bottom lip.

Every day was exciting… with the two people I loved.

Thomas chuckled, swinging her around like she was weightless. Rebecca was the tiniest of our little 'ménage à trois' as Kenny puts it. Ménage à trois… I think that means, 'three happy twitchers'.

…Well, at least in my book.

"Tweek, your shift is over, let's go. I'm _fucking_ tired of this _shit_!" He twitched, holding his mouth trying to hide all the obscenities that rolled off his tongue.

We all have nervous personalities with tics along with strongly fueled irrational fears. But we take care of each other, like any other friendship… but it wasn't.

More ambiguous… in the grey area.

Thomas made a little noise, his arms draping around my shoulders as I felt someone entangle themselves around my left leg. Thomas whined, "Please Tweek! You can _–shove a bottle in your ass-_ get off work already Mr. Perfectionist."

Rebecca peers up from my leg, pouting. "L-let's ha-have fun. I'll say I'm spending the night with Ruby and we can have a slumber party again. S-l-e-e-p."

I looked between the two, grinding my teeth and tugging at my hair. "Agh, fine! Fine! You two are way too much pressure," The can trembles in my hands, jittering from my fingers and onto the ground, just missing the frizzy girl's head. "Who's house?"

"_Bitch_," Thomas' hand went in the air. "Mom's been on those dating sites and… she's meeting a guy in Scottsdale. She isn't home right now. Now's a great time."

Rebecca giggles once again, sounding awkward. She shuffled up to her feet and grabbed at our hands. "R-e-m-e-m-b-e-r, we have social anxiety focus group tomorrow at eight sharp."

I yanked at the lame apron on my back, untying the messily done knot. At the front of the tiny store I could see a certain nerdy boy with a parka girl. Kevin and Lizzy.

Kevin was the one who was locking up and inspecting everything and Lizzy was standing around and calling him a 'butt humper' and a 'fudge packer'. Kevin was the manager and somehow that was the biggest award since being the king of fries at some fast food place. Don't ask me how Lizzy got hired. It was probably how close those two are at the hip. I bet something was happening there.

Kevin looked over to me, "You're still here?" His eyes met Rebecca's and Thomas's. He chuckled under his breath. "Never fails. The ménage strikes again, huh?"

"Now you're calling it that?" I groaned. I swear Kenny is going to get it.

"It fits." He was on his knees, locking up the oh-so obvious safe. Lizzy saw the opportunity and placed a sneaker on his back and pressed her weight on him. Her eyes on us for a moment. "Tweek, you have work tomorrow. I don't care if your ass is raw, you're here stacking shelves."

Kevin got to his feet, glaring at Lizzy before a devilish smile appeared on his lips. "Are you implying that Tweek is a bottom? That even the girl holds more dominance?"

The pink girl let out a sadistic laugh. "I taught Rebecca well."

I blinked, understanding what they meant, my cheeks flushed hotly. Thomas and Rebecca however were none the wiser for twenty-something year old human beings who knew nothing about anything sexual. I had the pleasure of having people like Kenny and Clyde for friends.

I tugged the two with me, ignoring the two sharing a laugh.

Nothing lasts forever.

I opened the door and the daisy chain of twitchers followed suit. Outside, the cold air hit me.

The best thing to do at night is smoke. Especially a night like this. It's cool and the moon is out. Everything seems like a night me and Craig used to share on the hood of his car. I would watch him as the smoke wisped away from his mouth in a haze. Craig got me hooked on nicotine.

He got me hooked on a lot of things.

Then he left without another word, disappeared right under my nose.

"Ngh," I took my mind off of the blue chullo boy. "Are we going to go to those meetings or are we gonna just skip again?"

Thomas started off on the sidewalk. "Eh, I think we're –_shit-_ cured."

Since all three of us were too scared or too irresponsible to drive we just walked everywhere we went. Like a pack of bums, wandering aimlessly.

When we first met it wasn't the greatest of circumstances. It was odd and strange just like anything in South Park. I wasn't all surprised when my mom made me go to 'social anxiety therapy' with a bunch of other people like me. But I didn't expect this.

It was a very strange sequence of events. I remember I made two close Friends. Rebecca and Thomas. Rebecca had her own weird tics. She was prone to whisper into her hands. Thomas was prone to screaming obscenities.

It was strange.

Before, Craig had left and it left a gap in my life that needed to be filled. I was lonely and scared of anything or anyone new.

And one day Thomas came up to me and told me, 'I like _–to fuck-_ you. Will you go out with me?'

I don't know how this all started. At first, Thomas asked me out. I was so excited I couldn't say no. I was going to be connected to someone. Just like Craig... and then Rebecca, a few days later, asked me with a weak smile. "Would you like t-to court me?"

I didn't know what I was thinking of but I said yes.

And then the predictable happened.

Rebecca learned of Thomas but then something even weirder happened…They really were okay with the whole thing. Rebecca would cuddle Thomas and Thomas would snuggle Rebecca.

I thought if I brought them close... The whole thing with Craig wouldn't matter. That somehow two people would fill his place.

But it didn't.

We made it to Thomas' house. He unlocked his door and let us inside.

Immediately, the race was on between the two. Hurrying oddly to get everything done. Thomas wandered over to the entertainment center, opening up a drawer and rummaging through DVD boxes.

I plopped down on the recliner, settling into it, pulling the lever as it lifted my feet up.

Rebecca rummaged through her rucksack, pulling out a few textbook. Thomas peered over at the stack on the coffee table and snorted. "College?"

"Yeah, I decided to order some books to study," Rebecca wandered off into the kitchen, turning in the doorway. "You want coffee, Tweek?"

I twitched, enjoying the empty seat for the moment. "Dark, please."

Thomas placed the disc into the DVD player and the TV roars to life with advertisements and previews. He grabbed the remote and flopped beside me. There goes that empty seat. Now I was squished.

"H-hi." I started meekly. Thomas was always the stronger looking one. He pulled a blanket off the back of the recliner and threw it on the two of us. "How have you been Tom?"

"Peachy." He snorted, "Worked at the soup kitchen for a few hours today and then I cleaned up the highway."

Look at him! He's superman.

Rebecca came a short time later with a cup of coffee, passing it to me and squeezing herself on the side of the chair next to me and picked up her textbook.

I was squished into a sandwich. It wasn't Craig but…

"I hope we don't ever break up."

It came out so fast. It's like my inner monologue became… outer monologue.

"Where did that come from?" Thomas glanced to me.

"If we just stay together and stay strong we won't ever break up. Polygamy does work. You have to work a little harder to make everyone happy but I'm sure we can make it work." She licked her finger and turned a page, not even bothering to look up. "Look at the Mormons."

Thomas wrapped his arms tighter around my waist, I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. He smelled nice. Like that fancy cologne or something. Not the type that Craig wears but...

Rebecca curled up further in my chest, the side of her book digging in my stomach and her hair tickling my noise.

"_Fuck tits_! You think the three most paranoid, anxiety ridden freaks can't find love?" Thomas tittered, his chest shaking against my side. "If we can stay together this long, we can accomplish anything."

"But that's the thing," I felt myself mutter loud enough for the two to hear, "Maybe this whole this is just too weird?"

I doubted this whole thing. A lot.

"Do you guys want to break up?" Thomas turned the TV down, glancing between us with a worried look. "I kinda like what we having going on."

"Like… like, what if Mark found out about us? Let alone your parents?" I asked, nudging the girl with her nose stuck in a book. "They probably like monogamy."

She winced, placing her book down on my lap. Rebecca folds her hands neatly, biting her lips. "I would tell them that I like you both strongly."

"Thomas?"

"I –_shit_- would tell my mom the same thing."

They both looked at me with a look of distress.

If I left, Thomas would go back to that suicidal stage of his life. Being all alone with a mother that ignored him to go cavorting with men. And Rebecca, she would be all alone with her parent's that placed too much pressure on her shoulders and expected the impossible.

Both need my stability. Both need my balance.

"Yeah." I shrugged, not knowing what to say. "I… Like it."

They both let out a collective sigh of relief, sinking back.

I did what I did best. Stewed.

Rebecca had eventually fallen asleep, the book fallen out of her grasp and Thomas passed out in the middle of watching something about a spy.

I just wanted to escape from them, walk away from this relationship and find Craig. I wanted to hold him tight and tell him how much I've missed him. Kiss him and tell him to never leave me again...

Let Thomas kill himself... Let Rebecca eventually go insane.

With a click of the remote I shut off the TV and placed Rebecca's textbook back on the coffee table. I smoothed the blankets out around us. I kissed the top of their heads and I let my eyes slip shut.

…But they were my ménage à trois. The three happy twitchers.

Every day was a new adventure.

Every day was a new day.

And every day was the best day of my life.


End file.
